Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
