thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
