I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
