You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
