That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
