Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
