Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
