I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
