Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize