Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
