Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
