guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
