You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
