He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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