what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
