Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
