you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
