I'm really into asian looking animals
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
