some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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