I hate your face
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Terrible idea I love it
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
