I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
