They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
