he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
smell my finger.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
