so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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