So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Randomize
