I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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