weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
