You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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