No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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