Capitaan dildo arrescate!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
