clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
