It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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