The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
