She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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