Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
