So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
