I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
