You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
