I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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