In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize