He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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