I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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