She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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