Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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