he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
