So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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