I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
