Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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