You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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