Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
