I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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