I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
