sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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