im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
