Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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