Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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