The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
