No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
