i jhust puked up my retainher.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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