are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize