my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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