True but thats because hes a fetus.
She said her name was "party"
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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