There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize