woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
