Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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