margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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