me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
