You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im drinking this country out of the recession.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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