Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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