is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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