then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
