I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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