My room smells like vodka and shame
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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