A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
